Third and fourth were a really tough test.
The second day was a breeze and delightfully satisfying. I felt good. I felt powerful and capable. I could even lightly start to feel muscles that were worked on those first couple of days that I haven't noticed in action in a while. The session that day pushed me a bit but I stayed within my weight abilities and it was still in control - I didn't go overboard. I already noticed my appetite spiking up the second day in (which could also be due to the fact that I shoveled 4 separate times our sizable snowfall we had around then too), so I let myself realllly enjoy the food I had.
Then the third day arrived.
My body hurt. A LOT. Anytime I had to get up (or sit down) it took immense effort. My movements made me feel like I was an elderly person who has no mobility left, and I definitely felt like that's how I looked as well. I tried to do everything I could not to sit down, but that's kind of hard to do nowadays. Especially at work. Especially when you work with teens. The fourth day was no better. If anything I thought it was actually worse.
Both of those days were incredibly trying when it came to maintaining my challenge. So much so that I wanted to quit, and when I did talk myself into doing a session ("it's only 15 minutes Laura, you can do it!"), I would linger for a good 5-10 before picking up the weights or actually starting the moves. My brain was trying to tell me "Hey, take a rest! Can't you tell we need recuperation? We're going full-blast here giving you all the signals that we can't take anymore! Seriously. It's ok to take a day off to rest".
But I knew better. It was only 3 days for eff's sake, and each day was a completely different set of muscle groups. It didn't make logical sense - I haven't even done it enough to warrant a rest. So I knew a large part of me was just trying to wimp out. It didn't want to have to see how far it could go, it didn't want to change things up, it didn't want to face up to the fact and realize that I and it had so much more steadfastness for my goals and desires than feeling complacent in this moment.
I have learned multiple times throughout different experiences trying a new regime or habit or lifestyle, that the first 3-5 days are the worst. Particularly day 3 and 4. I go into a new challenge recognizing and being cognizant of it, preparing for it, yet somehow. Every time. It's as if I have completely forgotten about how in-depth and struggling it could be, and it feels like the end of the world.
Having a firm resolve helps. Having accountability helps even more. Just the fact that I not only committed to but also announced that I would share my 90 day challenge with the world is a huge hand in making myself do those 15 minute it-really-doesn't-take-long-but-in-anticipation-feels-like-it'll-be-treacherous workouts. Remembering that I also have to report about my journey was the driving, motivational feed for me. Plus I didn't want to slink out after a few days - if I couldn't last a few days, how can I really make true, deep, lasting changes in my life, or move towards obtaining the bigger, long-term goals that I do have? I don't want that for myself, and I certainly don't want that for my friends, family, and clients. It's why I am such a huge advocate and supporter for others when they're in similar transitions or challenges. I see your light, your power and ability, and your greatness, and I want the world to benefit from it. I can see how much by you living your best self creates such a wonderful impact. By dampening it it's essentially saying "don't mind me, I have no importance", which is untrue. We all have importance. We all are significant. If I can help others see within themselves what I see in them, and foster that growth where they can not only exude it but also incorporate it into their lives, then I am living my passions and am equally inspired.
We all have limitations and we all have struggles. But we all equally have, if not more so, immense potential and driving fire. Deep down, we have a fierce spirit that wants to be known.
Like I said in my first post, luckily I'm stubborn.